Semester 1

Chapter XVI: Merry Fucking X-Mass (December 17 – December 24, 2016)

Okay, my first Christmas in China. It’s actually quite awesome, cause nobody really gives a shit about Christmas. I still go to school, I still work and I can easily avoid all those bullshit Christmas markets. All it takes is just not to go to shopping malls or around East Nanjing Road. Right now, I’m sitting at Happy Buddha, I just finished awesome vegan coconut rum cake, submitted paper for one of my courses and I’m bumping some fresh rap music. I got drunk last two nights, so I’m sharp as a motherfucker. Merry Christmas, y’all!

Since I’ve got little more involved with the local vegan community, I have been invited to several potlucks over the past couple of weeks. For those who don’t know what that is – someone signs up to host a potluck, people RSVP and state what food they are about to cook. Then they all meet up in the respective apartment, eat, drink and chatter. I have missed like 4 of those, cause most of those people just kick ass in cooking. Cakes, brownies, super complex meals that have to take hours to prepare etc. I cook simply. Veggies, lentils, rice, potatoes… Didn’t really feel comfortable participating. However, I managed to overcome my fears, made a ton of red lentils, mixed it with some carrots, onions, garlic, pepper and some other stuff and went for it. The potluck took place last Friday and it was super dope. Around 12 people, but the diversity... Guy who used to work for British embassy and now does some advisory job for the Chinese government, brew master of Shanghai Brewery, students… We drank till like 2 am and I even got some kudos for the food… Killed it.

I also went around some local tattoo studios. I do love Shanghai Tattoo by the Yanan Road. The interior is amazing, it has a pool table, bar and 5 tattoo chairs. Unfortunately, in China they charge retarded money for the ink. Getting a back piece would be around 30 000 – 50 000 RMB. You can buy a fucking car for that. I managed to make couple reservations with my tattoo guy back in Czech Republic for the summer. Gonna have to wait a bit… I do feel the itch already though.

I've explored dive bar scene around here a little bit too. Me and my friend went to C’s in Xuhui. Affordable beer, walls covered with graffiti, random messages from guests and small dance floor. There’s a chance I might get back to my DJ shit over there at some point. Yesterday, I went to one of the Perry’s joints – hated it. Too many generic students, horrible music, crowded, smelly. Even super cheap beer cannot make up for that. On the other hand, I think I got hit on by some guy. I’m just too hot…

We then continued to a Windows Scoreboard. Another super affordable place on the 11^th floor of one of the malls. Much better. Chilled atmosphere, cheap drinks, pool tables plus they played lots of old school hip hop. We stayed there till like 4 am and then I jumped on my bike and went home. Riding a bike around almost trafficless Shanghais in the middle of the night is amazing…

Well, and Christmas is here. So make sure you eat some dead animals, make sure to spent a lot of money on bullshit produced by some of major global corporations. The children in Bangladesh, China and other beautiful countries will be grateful – we give them jobs after all, right? More electronics, more clothes, more stuff! Make sure to snapchat everything, make sure to instagram everything, make sure to post some motivational memes and to spam all of your friends with bullshit Christmas wishes. Because that’s what Jesus wants in the first place.

Highlights:

• At the university, they are organizing another pizza party. They sent us an online questionnaire where you can pick what kinda pizza would you like to have. After the last fiasco with my vegan request, they came up with the following options: meat, vegetarian, halal, Bohdan and other. So I’m a pizza now! It has instantly become a classic among some of my classmates and I fucking love it.
• The rum cake I just finished. Happy Buddha kills cakes.
• Pollution. The past week has been crazy. The levels of pollution are pretty much deadly. It can be worse though – in Beijing it’s like this times 4. Let’s put it like this – the healthy amount of crap in the air is 50. Shanghai has over 250 and Beijing is around 1000. Crazy ass shit.

Semester 1

Chapter XV: Rap & Waffles (December 10 – December 16, 2016)

Alright, let me start with some music talk. Past couple of days have been incredible on super dope releases. I might include a music corner section within this blog somewhere down the road (let me know if you’d like that!) but for now, let’s just list albums that are definitely a must-listen. We got Ab-Soul with Do What Thou Wilt… Easily one of the best projects out this year. We got a new J. Cole dropping pretty much out of nowhere, we got a debut album from Post Malone, we got a new Kid Cudi album dropping today. There’s new Gucci Mane (St. Bricks Intro as a trap remake of Jingle Bells still cracks me up), Yung Lean just dropped an EP, there’s an LP by Tech N9ne… And of course, Childish Gambino! There’s a new Murda Beatz tape out there… I feel like they just keep coming lately. And I love it….

Okay, back to my life in the most exciting city in Asia… Last week, I went to a place called Cages. It has a bar, it has some pools, it has some weird area where people play soccer wearing these strange transparent bubbles and it has batting cages. That’s what me and one of my classmates came for. You pay like 10 RMB and you get a machine throwing balls at you… Never done that before so I kinda sucked… It’s quite close to where I live though so I might go embarrass myself sometime in the future again. When I feel like it… 

My weekend was kinda hectic and I got little ill so I took my social activities slow. On Saturday, I went to Organic Kitchen and had their vegan waffles for the first time. I gotta give it to them – they killed it. They’re crispy, sweet and they come with melted chocolate… It’s 30 RMB so if you’re a veggie head and you’re around, make sure to drop by… Me and my friend then continued to the Gemma bar which is in the same building as Le Baron. Gemma hosted a performance session called Dilated. Several artist were invited to do their pieces on the spot for 24 hours straight. It was organized by heArtS charity that works with children with autism. You could have contributed by sending a donation or by simply drinking… Whatever they raised on the bar that day went to the charity. There was this guy from Australia painting with colors made from bricks from demolished buildings, some other rather mediocre painters and one Chinese girl who splashed orange and black colors on canvas laying on the floor. She was the highlight for me. Using ends of her sleeves as brushes, rolling over the canvas and generally just creating a very dynamic piece… I got to talk to her for couple of minutes but for the most part I just watched her work… Really cool event…

I got out for the game night with vegan buffet on Wednesday too. That was a sure shot. Yesterday, a friend of mine texted me she has some tickets for a new flick by Mel Gibson - Hacksaw Ridge. Since she got stuck at work she just offered me those like 20 minutes before the movie started. I had nothing better to do so I went to this mall at West Nanjing Road which marks my first cinema visit since my arrival. The movie has pretty good reviews but I think it is shit… I mean I get why people get all wet over it but I just think we’ve had enough of “good old back in the day war hero good guy sentimental stars and stripes christian” movies throughout the history of cinematography. And I kinda think that shit like that actually screams “Make America Great Again!”. Oh well, when Mel Gibson occupies the director’s chair, you cannot really expect much else I guess...

I met up with the very same friend later on in the Elevator club for a party which headlined Throwing Shade from Ninja Tune. This was my first time in Elevator – cool cozy place with ping pong tables by the windows, small dance floor, couple of tables and no VIP areas for spoiled Chinese brats. The party kinda sucked though. It was probably caused by the fact they did it on Thursday, so it was far from packed… The sets were also nothing special, I don’t know… You cannot have a great party every time you go out, I guess…

Over the past two days, temperature has dropped down to around 2-6 degrees which doesn’t make me happy at all. However, according to the forecast, the next week we should get back to around 15. If that’s the case, I’m good. Exactly in 1 month, I’m gonna get my ass on a plane to Kuala Lumpur so I can handle couple more cold days…

Highlights:

• I was given a blueberry vegan happy muffin. Slept like a log. Highly appreciated.
• Work out. I still do that shit outside, I’m getting significantly better in pull ups and since the gym in Minhang has been under construction for over a month, this is currently my only way of exercise. And I feel good.
• Two of my people from the Czech Republic got their visa so I’m gonna have a company for the New Year’s Eve. That’s gonna be dope!

Semester 1

Chapter XIV: Push & Flats (December 2 - December 9, 2016)

I had a chance to visit some cool events over the past week. Cool thing is, it all happened quite organically and I pretty much just followed the flow.

I paid a visit to the ARTCN gallery and checked a painting exhibition called Microcosm. Nice little place on Guangfu Road – the number of small galleries all over the city is indeed remarkable. Last Friday, I went out with some of my friends. Before we went to the Shelter, we drank some beers outside and then visited a bar named XO on Hengshan road. For whatever fucking reason, they had 1 hours free flow of draft beer which is like the students’ dream. We got little tipsy and continued to the Shelter for a party headlined by some Japanese djs. The music was very unshelterish, had a very groovy and funky vibe and the guys spinned actual vinyls. It was cool but at that time, I really felt like getting wasted to some heavy techno…

Me and a friend of mine also went to Pushfest – the first skateboarding movie festival in Shanghai ever. I feel I moved in this city during the times of some cool ass “firsts”. The vegan fest, now this one… It took place in Central Studios and the venue was packed. There were some awesome movies presented (the one from Madagascar was fucking sick), u-ramp with guys doing freestyles and djs rocking some boombap hiphop shit. It’s kinda funny that I’m starting to recognize faces on different events. Even in city this big, people interested in specific shit just tend to run into each other. I was listening to this podcast couple of days ago and the guys were bitching about the fact that in New York, you got like 5 decent clubs. I kinda get it… Cool shit is rare anywhere. On the other hand, there are cities with zero cool spots and literally nothing going on – and there’s really so much more going on in Shanghai than wherever else I’ve been to… Shout out to Brno! 

When it comes to my “I’m better than every single fucking one of you” shit, I tried vegan burgers in this Happy Buddha place for the first time. They have this 1+1 deal on Mondays so I took one of my friends and pretty much gave her no options. The burgers are nothing special, they aren’t horrible though neither, and it’s cool they do that. What I can actually call special, is their chocolate vegan cake. That is a bomb. One of the best I have ever had… God damn it!

I also went to the vegan game night again. It's kinda interesting that majority of the people attending that shit (including the chef over there) is not vegan at all. The food is just so good, it attracts carnivores too. Vegans are usually outnumbered. Nevertheless, it was a cool evening again by the end of which, we got an exquisite cheesecake. All hail to empty calories!

My final exams are approaching. Most of them will take place during the last week of December and I honestly cannot wait to get it over with. I mean, I’m not complaining but I would really like to start focusing on writing my own stuff which is nearly impossible if you have 2 super hard tests every week, reflection papers to submit on weekly basis and final projects for the motherfucking Chinese culture class popping out of nowhere.

Highlights:

• I got a flat tire on my bike 2 more times. That’s right – 3 times per 2 weeks. I’m not sure what the bike god tries to tell me but please just cut that shit off. I’m willing to deal with this like once every two months but not like twice a week. I’m doing the right thing here, you see? The fucking cleanest way of transportation and shit...
• I got an offer to write for one positive and super formal student blog. Not sure whether anything materializes out of it but the fact someone read this pile of bullshit, and figured I would be a valuable asset for something like that, amazes me.
• I found a place where I can buy red lentils. I know it sounds stupid but for whatever reason, getting lentils in general isn’t quite easy around here…

Semester 1

Chapter XIII: Roofs & Security (November 25 – December 1, 2016)

Okay, so what happened since the last entry. I kinda passed on partying last weekend so I’ll have to go little harder this weekend. I feel I do need drink my mind away for a second. Fortunately, in this city, there’s always much to choose from so there no way this could go left…

The other day, I met this girl who introduced me to two of her friends and since those guys are into spotting tall building and then sneaking up on their roofs, the plan for the evening was settled. They picked a nice tall building close to the Bund, we got into the basement parking area, located an elevator and went all the way up to like 30^th floor. Then we found our way through a maze of small hallways and narrow staircases until we successfully ended up on the top. Unfortunately, the view was blocked by some fucking construction that had been going on over there. The feeling was still nice though. We noticed couple of security cameras on the way and we decided to ignore them. That turned out to be the wrong call as in couple of minutes we were surrounded by security guards asking us what the fuck are we doing there. We played dumb and eventually got only kicked out. Fun experience…

When it comes to vegan shit, I found out there’s a veggie joint just across the street from the place I live. It’s called Pure & Whole and after having a burger over there, I’m thinking about turning it into my office once the final exams kick in. They got some cool vegan cakes and desserts too. We also had a pizza party at the university – I initially wanted to pass on that but since my supervisor wanted to meet me there, I dragged my ass all over to fucking Minhang. I actually asked for vegan pizza (and I explained that all they have to do is leave meat and cheese out of the equation) and I was promised one. After I arrived, they specifically called me out to proudly present my fucking pizza which was covered in fucking cheese so I publicly expressed my fucking gratitude, told them fucking thanks but no fucking thanks and got some motherfucking crisps. I wasn’t offended though, I honestly didn’t expect them to get it right. What is kinda funny though, that due to the number of Muslim students, when it comes to such events, upon the registration, you can always pick either regular or halal meals. When you’re anything else than a carnivore or a Muslim, you’re fucked. My interference was useful at least for one of my vegetarian classmates who, on normal circumstances, wouldn’t get shit neither… Anyways, it’s all good… The longer you’re vegan, the more used you get to shit like this… There’s like 50/50 chance you won’t get a meal even if you ask in advance and specifically describe what vegan means… We live in a world where meal is not a meal unless someone fucking suffers and/or dies… Actually, we live in a world where shit isn’t shit unless someone suffers/or dies.. What a time to be alive, right?

Temperature got better again. Now we’re around 12-15 degrees so there are days I don’t actually need to turn on my AC again. On the other hand, pollution is getting worse. There’s an app I downloaded for that particular purpose, and for the past couple of days, the verdict has been pretty clear: “unhealthy”. I also got a flat tire on my bicycle for the first time here. Changing that shit was 60 RMB which is probably a foreigner price but who cares...

So yeah, everything is good. December kicked in (happy b-day, sis!) and I'm realizing that the first semester of my studies is slowly coming to its end…

Highlights:

• A Tribe Called Quest’ new album. Hands down.
• Deodorant. I’m running out of the last one of those I brought along, so I tried to get one. Everywhere. Supermarkets, malls, convenient stores, drug stores… Then I googled this shit… Apparently, getting a fucking deodorant for men in Shanghai (or in China in general) is a real challenge. There is like one chain offering those (fortunately, they do have a shop close by) but it’s not an item you can easily get on every corner. Which is weird.
• For the first time ever, I really had to get and keep attention of 3-4 year olds. Man, that was fun… I can see myself having kids in like 50 years the earliest..