Semester 1

Chapter XVI: Merry Fucking X-Mass (December 17 – December 24, 2016)

Okay, my first Christmas in China. It’s actually quite awesome, cause nobody really gives a shit about Christmas. I still go to school, I still work and I can easily avoid all those bullshit Christmas markets. All it takes is just not to go to shopping malls or around East Nanjing Road. Right now, I’m sitting at Happy Buddha, I just finished awesome vegan coconut rum cake, submitted paper for one of my courses and I’m bumping some fresh rap music. I got drunk last two nights, so I’m sharp as a motherfucker. Merry Christmas, y’all!

Since I’ve got little more involved with the local vegan community, I have been invited to several potlucks over the past couple of weeks. For those who don’t know what that is – someone signs up to host a potluck, people RSVP and state what food they are about to cook. Then they all meet up in the respective apartment, eat, drink and chatter. I have missed like 4 of those, cause most of those people just kick ass in cooking. Cakes, brownies, super complex meals that have to take hours to prepare etc. I cook simply. Veggies, lentils, rice, potatoes… Didn’t really feel comfortable participating. However, I managed to overcome my fears, made a ton of red lentils, mixed it with some carrots, onions, garlic, pepper and some other stuff and went for it. The potluck took place last Friday and it was super dope. Around 12 people, but the diversity... Guy who used to work for British embassy and now does some advisory job for the Chinese government, brew master of Shanghai Brewery, students… We drank till like 2 am and I even got some kudos for the food… Killed it.

I also went around some local tattoo studios. I do love Shanghai Tattoo by the Yanan Road. The interior is amazing, it has a pool table, bar and 5 tattoo chairs. Unfortunately, in China they charge retarded money for the ink. Getting a back piece would be around 30 000 – 50 000 RMB. You can buy a fucking car for that. I managed to make couple reservations with my tattoo guy back in Czech Republic for the summer. Gonna have to wait a bit… I do feel the itch already though.

I've explored dive bar scene around here a little bit too. Me and my friend went to C’s in Xuhui. Affordable beer, walls covered with graffiti, random messages from guests and small dance floor. There’s a chance I might get back to my DJ shit over there at some point. Yesterday, I went to one of the Perry’s joints – hated it. Too many generic students, horrible music, crowded, smelly. Even super cheap beer cannot make up for that. On the other hand, I think I got hit on by some guy. I’m just too hot…

We then continued to a Windows Scoreboard. Another super affordable place on the 11^th floor of one of the malls. Much better. Chilled atmosphere, cheap drinks, pool tables plus they played lots of old school hip hop. We stayed there till like 4 am and then I jumped on my bike and went home. Riding a bike around almost trafficless Shanghais in the middle of the night is amazing…

Well, and Christmas is here. So make sure you eat some dead animals, make sure to spent a lot of money on bullshit produced by some of major global corporations. The children in Bangladesh, China and other beautiful countries will be grateful – we give them jobs after all, right? More electronics, more clothes, more stuff! Make sure to snapchat everything, make sure to instagram everything, make sure to post some motivational memes and to spam all of your friends with bullshit Christmas wishes. Because that’s what Jesus wants in the first place.

Highlights:

• At the university, they are organizing another pizza party. They sent us an online questionnaire where you can pick what kinda pizza would you like to have. After the last fiasco with my vegan request, they came up with the following options: meat, vegetarian, halal, Bohdan and other. So I’m a pizza now! It has instantly become a classic among some of my classmates and I fucking love it.
• The rum cake I just finished. Happy Buddha kills cakes.
• Pollution. The past week has been crazy. The levels of pollution are pretty much deadly. It can be worse though – in Beijing it’s like this times 4. Let’s put it like this – the healthy amount of crap in the air is 50. Shanghai has over 250 and Beijing is around 1000. Crazy ass shit.