Semester 1

Chapter XVI: Merry Fucking X-Mass (December 17 – December 24, 2016)

Okay, my first Christmas in China. It’s actually quite awesome, cause nobody really gives a shit about Christmas. I still go to school, I still work and I can easily avoid all those bullshit Christmas markets. All it takes is just not to go to shopping malls or around East Nanjing Road. Right now, I’m sitting at Happy Buddha, I just finished awesome vegan coconut rum cake, submitted paper for one of my courses and I’m bumping some fresh rap music. I got drunk last two nights, so I’m sharp as a motherfucker. Merry Christmas, y’all!

Since I’ve got little more involved with the local vegan community, I have been invited to several potlucks over the past couple of weeks. For those who don’t know what that is – someone signs up to host a potluck, people RSVP and state what food they are about to cook. Then they all meet up in the respective apartment, eat, drink and chatter. I have missed like 4 of those, cause most of those people just kick ass in cooking. Cakes, brownies, super complex meals that have to take hours to prepare etc. I cook simply. Veggies, lentils, rice, potatoes… Didn’t really feel comfortable participating. However, I managed to overcome my fears, made a ton of red lentils, mixed it with some carrots, onions, garlic, pepper and some other stuff and went for it. The potluck took place last Friday and it was super dope. Around 12 people, but the diversity... Guy who used to work for British embassy and now does some advisory job for the Chinese government, brew master of Shanghai Brewery, students… We drank till like 2 am and I even got some kudos for the food… Killed it.

I also went around some local tattoo studios. I do love Shanghai Tattoo by the Yanan Road. The interior is amazing, it has a pool table, bar and 5 tattoo chairs. Unfortunately, in China they charge retarded money for the ink. Getting a back piece would be around 30 000 – 50 000 RMB. You can buy a fucking car for that. I managed to make couple reservations with my tattoo guy back in Czech Republic for the summer. Gonna have to wait a bit… I do feel the itch already though.

I've explored dive bar scene around here a little bit too. Me and my friend went to C’s in Xuhui. Affordable beer, walls covered with graffiti, random messages from guests and small dance floor. There’s a chance I might get back to my DJ shit over there at some point. Yesterday, I went to one of the Perry’s joints – hated it. Too many generic students, horrible music, crowded, smelly. Even super cheap beer cannot make up for that. On the other hand, I think I got hit on by some guy. I’m just too hot…

We then continued to a Windows Scoreboard. Another super affordable place on the 11^th floor of one of the malls. Much better. Chilled atmosphere, cheap drinks, pool tables plus they played lots of old school hip hop. We stayed there till like 4 am and then I jumped on my bike and went home. Riding a bike around almost trafficless Shanghais in the middle of the night is amazing…

Well, and Christmas is here. So make sure you eat some dead animals, make sure to spent a lot of money on bullshit produced by some of major global corporations. The children in Bangladesh, China and other beautiful countries will be grateful – we give them jobs after all, right? More electronics, more clothes, more stuff! Make sure to snapchat everything, make sure to instagram everything, make sure to post some motivational memes and to spam all of your friends with bullshit Christmas wishes. Because that’s what Jesus wants in the first place.

Highlights:

• At the university, they are organizing another pizza party. They sent us an online questionnaire where you can pick what kinda pizza would you like to have. After the last fiasco with my vegan request, they came up with the following options: meat, vegetarian, halal, Bohdan and other. So I’m a pizza now! It has instantly become a classic among some of my classmates and I fucking love it.
• The rum cake I just finished. Happy Buddha kills cakes.
• Pollution. The past week has been crazy. The levels of pollution are pretty much deadly. It can be worse though – in Beijing it’s like this times 4. Let’s put it like this – the healthy amount of crap in the air is 50. Shanghai has over 250 and Beijing is around 1000. Crazy ass shit.

Semester 1

Chapter XV: Rap & Waffles (December 10 – December 16, 2016)

Alright, let me start with some music talk. Past couple of days have been incredible on super dope releases. I might include a music corner section within this blog somewhere down the road (let me know if you’d like that!) but for now, let’s just list albums that are definitely a must-listen. We got Ab-Soul with Do What Thou Wilt… Easily one of the best projects out this year. We got a new J. Cole dropping pretty much out of nowhere, we got a debut album from Post Malone, we got a new Kid Cudi album dropping today. There’s new Gucci Mane (St. Bricks Intro as a trap remake of Jingle Bells still cracks me up), Yung Lean just dropped an EP, there’s an LP by Tech N9ne… And of course, Childish Gambino! There’s a new Murda Beatz tape out there… I feel like they just keep coming lately. And I love it….

Okay, back to my life in the most exciting city in Asia… Last week, I went to a place called Cages. It has a bar, it has some pools, it has some weird area where people play soccer wearing these strange transparent bubbles and it has batting cages. That’s what me and one of my classmates came for. You pay like 10 RMB and you get a machine throwing balls at you… Never done that before so I kinda sucked… It’s quite close to where I live though so I might go embarrass myself sometime in the future again. When I feel like it… 

My weekend was kinda hectic and I got little ill so I took my social activities slow. On Saturday, I went to Organic Kitchen and had their vegan waffles for the first time. I gotta give it to them – they killed it. They’re crispy, sweet and they come with melted chocolate… It’s 30 RMB so if you’re a veggie head and you’re around, make sure to drop by… Me and my friend then continued to the Gemma bar which is in the same building as Le Baron. Gemma hosted a performance session called Dilated. Several artist were invited to do their pieces on the spot for 24 hours straight. It was organized by heArtS charity that works with children with autism. You could have contributed by sending a donation or by simply drinking… Whatever they raised on the bar that day went to the charity. There was this guy from Australia painting with colors made from bricks from demolished buildings, some other rather mediocre painters and one Chinese girl who splashed orange and black colors on canvas laying on the floor. She was the highlight for me. Using ends of her sleeves as brushes, rolling over the canvas and generally just creating a very dynamic piece… I got to talk to her for couple of minutes but for the most part I just watched her work… Really cool event…

I got out for the game night with vegan buffet on Wednesday too. That was a sure shot. Yesterday, a friend of mine texted me she has some tickets for a new flick by Mel Gibson - Hacksaw Ridge. Since she got stuck at work she just offered me those like 20 minutes before the movie started. I had nothing better to do so I went to this mall at West Nanjing Road which marks my first cinema visit since my arrival. The movie has pretty good reviews but I think it is shit… I mean I get why people get all wet over it but I just think we’ve had enough of “good old back in the day war hero good guy sentimental stars and stripes christian” movies throughout the history of cinematography. And I kinda think that shit like that actually screams “Make America Great Again!”. Oh well, when Mel Gibson occupies the director’s chair, you cannot really expect much else I guess...

I met up with the very same friend later on in the Elevator club for a party which headlined Throwing Shade from Ninja Tune. This was my first time in Elevator – cool cozy place with ping pong tables by the windows, small dance floor, couple of tables and no VIP areas for spoiled Chinese brats. The party kinda sucked though. It was probably caused by the fact they did it on Thursday, so it was far from packed… The sets were also nothing special, I don’t know… You cannot have a great party every time you go out, I guess…

Over the past two days, temperature has dropped down to around 2-6 degrees which doesn’t make me happy at all. However, according to the forecast, the next week we should get back to around 15. If that’s the case, I’m good. Exactly in 1 month, I’m gonna get my ass on a plane to Kuala Lumpur so I can handle couple more cold days…

Highlights:

• I was given a blueberry vegan happy muffin. Slept like a log. Highly appreciated.
• Work out. I still do that shit outside, I’m getting significantly better in pull ups and since the gym in Minhang has been under construction for over a month, this is currently my only way of exercise. And I feel good.
• Two of my people from the Czech Republic got their visa so I’m gonna have a company for the New Year’s Eve. That’s gonna be dope!

Semester 1

Chapter XIV: Push & Flats (December 2 - December 9, 2016)

I had a chance to visit some cool events over the past week. Cool thing is, it all happened quite organically and I pretty much just followed the flow.

I paid a visit to the ARTCN gallery and checked a painting exhibition called Microcosm. Nice little place on Guangfu Road – the number of small galleries all over the city is indeed remarkable. Last Friday, I went out with some of my friends. Before we went to the Shelter, we drank some beers outside and then visited a bar named XO on Hengshan road. For whatever fucking reason, they had 1 hours free flow of draft beer which is like the students’ dream. We got little tipsy and continued to the Shelter for a party headlined by some Japanese djs. The music was very unshelterish, had a very groovy and funky vibe and the guys spinned actual vinyls. It was cool but at that time, I really felt like getting wasted to some heavy techno…

Me and a friend of mine also went to Pushfest – the first skateboarding movie festival in Shanghai ever. I feel I moved in this city during the times of some cool ass “firsts”. The vegan fest, now this one… It took place in Central Studios and the venue was packed. There were some awesome movies presented (the one from Madagascar was fucking sick), u-ramp with guys doing freestyles and djs rocking some boombap hiphop shit. It’s kinda funny that I’m starting to recognize faces on different events. Even in city this big, people interested in specific shit just tend to run into each other. I was listening to this podcast couple of days ago and the guys were bitching about the fact that in New York, you got like 5 decent clubs. I kinda get it… Cool shit is rare anywhere. On the other hand, there are cities with zero cool spots and literally nothing going on – and there’s really so much more going on in Shanghai than wherever else I’ve been to… Shout out to Brno! 

When it comes to my “I’m better than every single fucking one of you” shit, I tried vegan burgers in this Happy Buddha place for the first time. They have this 1+1 deal on Mondays so I took one of my friends and pretty much gave her no options. The burgers are nothing special, they aren’t horrible though neither, and it’s cool they do that. What I can actually call special, is their chocolate vegan cake. That is a bomb. One of the best I have ever had… God damn it!

I also went to the vegan game night again. It's kinda interesting that majority of the people attending that shit (including the chef over there) is not vegan at all. The food is just so good, it attracts carnivores too. Vegans are usually outnumbered. Nevertheless, it was a cool evening again by the end of which, we got an exquisite cheesecake. All hail to empty calories!

My final exams are approaching. Most of them will take place during the last week of December and I honestly cannot wait to get it over with. I mean, I’m not complaining but I would really like to start focusing on writing my own stuff which is nearly impossible if you have 2 super hard tests every week, reflection papers to submit on weekly basis and final projects for the motherfucking Chinese culture class popping out of nowhere.

Highlights:

• I got a flat tire on my bike 2 more times. That’s right – 3 times per 2 weeks. I’m not sure what the bike god tries to tell me but please just cut that shit off. I’m willing to deal with this like once every two months but not like twice a week. I’m doing the right thing here, you see? The fucking cleanest way of transportation and shit...
• I got an offer to write for one positive and super formal student blog. Not sure whether anything materializes out of it but the fact someone read this pile of bullshit, and figured I would be a valuable asset for something like that, amazes me.
• I found a place where I can buy red lentils. I know it sounds stupid but for whatever reason, getting lentils in general isn’t quite easy around here…

Semester 1

Chapter XIII: Roofs & Security (November 25 – December 1, 2016)

Okay, so what happened since the last entry. I kinda passed on partying last weekend so I’ll have to go little harder this weekend. I feel I do need drink my mind away for a second. Fortunately, in this city, there’s always much to choose from so there no way this could go left…

The other day, I met this girl who introduced me to two of her friends and since those guys are into spotting tall building and then sneaking up on their roofs, the plan for the evening was settled. They picked a nice tall building close to the Bund, we got into the basement parking area, located an elevator and went all the way up to like 30^th floor. Then we found our way through a maze of small hallways and narrow staircases until we successfully ended up on the top. Unfortunately, the view was blocked by some fucking construction that had been going on over there. The feeling was still nice though. We noticed couple of security cameras on the way and we decided to ignore them. That turned out to be the wrong call as in couple of minutes we were surrounded by security guards asking us what the fuck are we doing there. We played dumb and eventually got only kicked out. Fun experience…

When it comes to vegan shit, I found out there’s a veggie joint just across the street from the place I live. It’s called Pure & Whole and after having a burger over there, I’m thinking about turning it into my office once the final exams kick in. They got some cool vegan cakes and desserts too. We also had a pizza party at the university – I initially wanted to pass on that but since my supervisor wanted to meet me there, I dragged my ass all over to fucking Minhang. I actually asked for vegan pizza (and I explained that all they have to do is leave meat and cheese out of the equation) and I was promised one. After I arrived, they specifically called me out to proudly present my fucking pizza which was covered in fucking cheese so I publicly expressed my fucking gratitude, told them fucking thanks but no fucking thanks and got some motherfucking crisps. I wasn’t offended though, I honestly didn’t expect them to get it right. What is kinda funny though, that due to the number of Muslim students, when it comes to such events, upon the registration, you can always pick either regular or halal meals. When you’re anything else than a carnivore or a Muslim, you’re fucked. My interference was useful at least for one of my vegetarian classmates who, on normal circumstances, wouldn’t get shit neither… Anyways, it’s all good… The longer you’re vegan, the more used you get to shit like this… There’s like 50/50 chance you won’t get a meal even if you ask in advance and specifically describe what vegan means… We live in a world where meal is not a meal unless someone fucking suffers and/or dies… Actually, we live in a world where shit isn’t shit unless someone suffers/or dies.. What a time to be alive, right?

Temperature got better again. Now we’re around 12-15 degrees so there are days I don’t actually need to turn on my AC again. On the other hand, pollution is getting worse. There’s an app I downloaded for that particular purpose, and for the past couple of days, the verdict has been pretty clear: “unhealthy”. I also got a flat tire on my bicycle for the first time here. Changing that shit was 60 RMB which is probably a foreigner price but who cares...

So yeah, everything is good. December kicked in (happy b-day, sis!) and I'm realizing that the first semester of my studies is slowly coming to its end…

Highlights:

• A Tribe Called Quest’ new album. Hands down.
• Deodorant. I’m running out of the last one of those I brought along, so I tried to get one. Everywhere. Supermarkets, malls, convenient stores, drug stores… Then I googled this shit… Apparently, getting a fucking deodorant for men in Shanghai (or in China in general) is a real challenge. There is like one chain offering those (fortunately, they do have a shop close by) but it’s not an item you can easily get on every corner. Which is weird.
• For the first time ever, I really had to get and keep attention of 3-4 year olds. Man, that was fun… I can see myself having kids in like 50 years the earliest..

Semester 1

Chapter XII: Winter Is Coming (November 17 – November 24, 2016)

Last Friday, I visited one of the mainstream local clubs after some time. Not that I changed my attitude towards those but this M2 joint hosted Jillionaire which seemed appealing enough. M2 is probably one of the more acceptable poshy spots but it still kinda sucks. The system of rich Chinese partying separated at their expensive tables and poor whites mashed on the dance floor drinking free (and most likely fake) booze is there, of course. However, the music was fine and the place is quite spacious so the party wasn’t that bad.

I don’t know what it is with Shanghai but I lost my voice for the second time since my arrival. This time for almost two days. I charge it to the pollution but I’m not really sure. Fucked up thing is, this time it happened one day before my English classes so I spent Saturday consuming liters of ginger tea and drinking bottles of water. I was able to deliver on Sunday but I sounded like a fucking Malboro man 5 minutes before his death. Kids had to be thrilled by that.

It seems that the nice weather is officially over too. What amazes me is how fast the switch was. On Sunday you could hang out outside late night with just a sweatshirt, feeling completely okay, one day later, you’re dying if you’re not wearing a winter jacket, beanie and a pair of gloves. It went literally from 18 to 6 degrees. Which also made me to switch my AC for the very first time. They don’t really do central heating system so every room is equipped with its own AC unit. Since landlords try to save as much money as possible, they usually go for the cheapest, least ecological option. There are three energy labels in China, my AC is the fucking worst. If you have a look at buildings and see that each one of them has hundreds of ACs installed, you can get an idea of how inefficient it is and how harmful this gotta be for the environment, air, etc… It’s China though, who cares…

It kinda sucks that my favorite activities, such as reading outside or biking around the city are gonna be either impossible or highly inconvenient for the upcoming couple of months. One thing that calms me down a little a bit is the idea of the Malaysian trip in the middle of January. Oh, and I managed to get a haircut and visit the Power Station of Art again the last week too...

I’m still working on my first paper, narrowing it down, adding references and shaping it into a form I would feel comfortable with. Yeah, and I just gotta mention how much I fucking hate my Chinese culture class. It’s not like I don’t wanna learn about that, it’s the fact our teacher is the fucking worst. He takes super Asian approach and for each 90 minutes lesson, he just gets a 70 slides presentation full of names, dates, titles etc. and wants you to memorize all that shit so you can pass a test the following week. It’s all part of your final grade so you have to try. And it feels like being back to secondary school again. No value whatsoever. Plus the guy has that kinda energy that makes you wanna punch him just for opening his mouth… Some of my classmates have a different teacher, they go to fucking museums and write reports on it. Talk about bad luck…

It’s Thursday morning, I just finished my coffee (blacker than my soul) and I’ll be heading to to (guess what) the Chinese culture class. The raining stopped, which is good, but the temperature is like 2 degrees, which fills me up with despair. I’ll try to go for a run after the class so if you won’t hear about me after this blog, I didn’t make it.

Highlights:

• While I was reading in Jing’an park one afternoon (Gutmann’s book The Slaugher gives you chills), over the course of couple of hours I was approached by two elderly Chinese guys who just felt like talking. One claimed to be a former coach of the national diving team, the other one was a retired banker with super critical attitude toward Chinese government. It was super random.
• A vegan friend of mine made a happy muffin for me. That was fun…
• I tried Chinese red wine for the first time. Took a 1 liter bottle for like 23 RMB and surprisingly, it was actually good. Wouldn’t expect that in my lifetime...

Semester 1

Chapter XI: Mansion & Games (November 8 – November 16, 2016)

It’s the mid term period at the university so I actually have to study little harder than usual these days. That doesn’t necessarily prevent me from unveiling another parts of the city and local life though, so don’t worry – I got some new shit to share…

Last week, I went to a joint named Organic Kitchen for a game night. Now, people who know me probably also know that I’m not really that social and that me at a game night isn’t a very common thing. Which is absolutely right – this was in fact my first experience with something like that. However, Organic Kitchen does all-you-can eat vegan buffets every week for around 80 RMB and veggie heads use that opportunity to hang out and play. And they say that getting out your comfort zone is important, right? The menu was great – burgers, muffins, tons of salads, fruits, soups different mixes of vegetables… Another food overdose. Even the games were kinda fun. Cards Against Humanity are quite amusing. After couple rounds of that, I ended up playing some super complex RPG game with couple of guys that felt like board game veterans - I, on the other hand, still didn’t have a clue about the rules by the end of the evening… Anyways, Organic Kitchen is a cool place – small, cozy, has a little European café feeling. Today, I’m coming there again, hehe…

I also visited The Mansion for the fist time ever. Couple of weeks ago I went to Nantong for a party organized by those guys, this time I had a chance to actually visit their main hub. Mansion is located outside the city center, close to Shanghai Zoo subway station. I heard so much about it and based on that, I expected some kind of squattish/druggish dirty place with certified party freaks. That’s not the case at all. I mean the place is super cool, you get in for 100 RMB and that includes 5 drinks on the bar. You can choose whether you wanna spend your time on the ground floor which is more chilled out and you can actually talk to people, or in the basement where the party goes on. DJs played techno, some heavy house and base tunes and I stayed there till around 6am. Even the crowd was quite diverse. Students, model-looking girls, swagged out kids - everything you'd expect - just a little more appealing and alternative. Another place I genuinely enjoyed…

As far as studies go, I think I passed Chinese language mid-term test which is something I feel fucking proud of. After some struggle, I’m able to formulate some most basic phrases (with completely fucked up intonation) but I can fucking feel the progress. Going all Asian and shit…

Weather is still acceptable and temperature ranges between 12-20. Haven’t really needed to turn the AC (which is the only heating system in our flat) yet. Outside of my social and educational activities, I’m still on regular shit and I still enjoy that. And I adopted the habit of wearing a face mask when I cycle anywhere – not sure whether it helps but there’s really not much to lose and some days the pollution is just off the roof... I've also started to write some raps after like a million years - I'm having fun with that.

 

Highlights:

• I booked a ticket to Malaysia for the winter break. Almost 4 weeks, no particular plans so far, this is gonna be fun!
• Donald Trump. Fuck everyone that voted for him but more importantly, fuck our corporate capitalistic bullshit system that actually created the amount of animosity and frustration that got people into even thinking about supporting that idiot. We live in the world where people channel their issues in a completely wrong direction and this is what you get… Didn’t expect Brexit, didn’t expect this. Please miss me with all that white man, traditional family, anti-immigration shit... And fuck Hillary too... Bernie was the only rational option all along...
• Wasteland – new HBO produced Czech TV series. Definitely one of the best TV productions that ever came out of our country.

Semester 1

Chapter X: Vegan Overdose & Summer Comeback (November 1 – November 7, 2016)

Local weather somehow managed to get back to summer settings which significantly improves quality of life. Now we’re back to over 20 degrees during the day, wide open windows, short sleeves and sunshine. Hope it’s gonna last at least till Christmas.

Last Friday, I went to Dada for a Genome 666 party again. It was lit and it only confirmed the fact that those guys know very well what they’re doing. Attending their events it’s just a sure shot. It’s fresh, it’s full of energy, it’s just about what you’d like to experience at a party. I guess I’ve officially become a fan.

One day later, I had a chance to visit the very first vegan fest organized in Shanghai and I gotta say, it could not have gotten much better. The weather was simply amazing, there were many stands with tastings and food for friendly prices and (maybe surprisingly) there were lots of people, majority of which were actually Chinese. There were loads of expats too but the number of locals was definitely higher that one would expected in China. After checking what was there to offer, I went ape shit and got into all the things that you cannot real find here easily. Donuts, burgers, bread, tempeh, ice cream… I spend lots of money and I got stuffed to a level I hated myself. Even skipping dinner that day didn’t make any difference on my stomach…

Other than that, it’s the same old… School, galleries, reading, movies… I actually got back to gaming too… GTA 5 is life man… The game is so good it makes me wanna cry… Everything about it…

I’m also improving my situation cooperating with one of the English schools in the city. Having patience with kids is quite a challenge since I’m really not the kind of guy who enjoys being around those little things, but hey… what doesn't kill you... Hopefully, everything’s gonna work out fine. Also, I'm putting my Instagram badge on this blog cause that's how I fucking roll now... Bitches.

Highlights:

• Chocolate vegan donuts. No further explanation needed.
• Whatever they say about Chinese making sounds like animals throughout the day is true. The amount of spitting, burping and other weird noises coming from their mouths is really disturbing. Fucked up thing is, kids do it too. Working with this was a bliss.
• Loneliness by Huber Klimko-Dobrzaniecky. Awesome, super edgy and douchy book...