Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Semester 8 Chapter XV: Intermezzo

Okay, let me do an early morning philosophical window. In the last song I wrote, I went: sometimes what makes people sad, makes me warm inside/and what people ignore, makes me wanna die/all Im tryna say, I often dont see eye to eye/with most of yall, but trust me man I try (the track can be found here). When I was writing that shit, I was on a wave and I wasnt really paying no mind to it but looking back at it, I really think it kinda sums up where Im at philosophically these days. Let me dig a bit deeper into that. Do I feel the world is colossally fucked? Yes. Do I associate with most people living in it? No. But heres the thing. In my head, whatever worldview I have is more of an ongoing process, rather than something that is set in stone. Its a subject of constant doubt, second-guessing and continuous refreshing. I do not feel that identity politics is a way out. Let me give you an example.

I was talking with one of my best friends the other day. Hes a pretty dope artist and makes installations based on fairytales and mystique. Hes not he biggest thing in the world but in terms of his niche subgenre, he has seen some success. Recently, he did an online talk to some art students and one of them asked him why isnt he promoting pressing issues, such as feminism, in his work more explicitly. It is a valid question. For instance, I believe that if you are an activist or a documentarist, you can (and sometimes should) be explicit with labeling shit. Thats the game. Finding a way how to describe a phenomenon. If you are an artist, or if you're simply try to reach new people, it gets trickier. I dont necessarily consider myself an artist but I do write here and there and I have been thinking about this too.

Nothing annoys me more than artists that try to give you life tutorials. Look, Im vegan, Im feminist, Im leftist, Im anti-racist. But you wont ever see my start my verse with: Go vegan, dont be racist and treat women equally! Let me explain why. I believe in conversation and finding a common platform with people. If I did such in-your-face life lessons, I would be basically appealing exclusively to people who already share my worldviews. Those who stand on the other side of the barricade wouldnt take anything from it. Even more so, it would make them more defensive. Like it or not, there is something about misogyny, racism, nationalism and capitalism. I dont believe any of those things are morally justifiable but to some degree I understand why people associate with them. Firstly, it is a safe zone. They identify with status quo, they are a part of the strongest pack, they are deep in their comfort zone. It is easier to hold an established position that has been in place for ages and can be easily defined, than to second-guess it. Secondly, we do live in a world that is deeply unjust and its easier to blame those with little to no voice than to accept the complexity of issues were facing and attack the very nature of the system weve been told is the only one possible. Furthermore, many people who follow such beliefs have never had a chance to get outside of their bubbles. Do I think its right? No. Do I get it? Kinda.

And that shit is important to me. I believe that in order to change your values, you have to make the conclusion yourself. Nobody can tell you what to do or what not to do. You have to be the one that connects the dots. So when I say: I often dont see eye to eye/with most of yall, but trust me man I try, Im basically saying: Im here. I dont agree with you, we operate differently, but I do my best to connect with you, to find a shared language so we can talk. Sometimes the way to hell is paved with good intentions and Ive seen people, who theoretically promote same values I do, alienating themselves not only from their opponents but also from people like me. Youre not a woman? You can never understand us, shut up. Youre not a person of color? Then we got nothing to talk about -  you wont get it. I have seen this happen so many times. And whereas I admit theres some truth to it (at the end of the day I am a white heterosexual male), this just leads nowhere. Whatever the issue is, Im trying to be an ally here. I wanna talk, I wanna find solutions, I wanna make shit better. Lets search for common denominators instead of digging deeper trenches. Its a process but I do believe its the only rational way how to handle this shit.

So back to the conversation with my friend. Sometimes a fairytale is what you need. Maybe some people are going to be touched by the mystique or colors or stories. Maybe it ignites some emotions. Maybe it makes you stop and think that there are things you might not fully understand but that doesnt mean they are evil; they can be interesting and beautiful. Or maybe not. Maybe your interpretation is going to be different. But I do believe the artists role is to provide some sort of platform where audience has certain degree of freedom to complete the meaning by themselves. I knew where meat comes from all long but it took me 26 years to connect the dots for real and do something about it. When I create, I dont try to judge, I try to create a vibe or a zone that complies with whatever person I am at the moment; Im inviting you to my world. My ideological DNA is all over it but I dont spit it explicitly. What you take out of it is on you. All I can do is build the best and the most comfortable (or uncomfortable) set up for you, so you can enjoy it or try to understand where Im coming from. And to understand whatever it makes you feel when you pay attention to it. To understand me and also to understand you. So we can stop and go eye to eye with each other for a second. Whenever I had any kinda influence on people around me, it wasnt because I pressured them into something, but because we had conversation or because I managed to become sort of an example based on my everyday actions. And I believe this is a way to communicate.

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